35 Comments

This was a delightful read and I look forward to discussing it with all my queer black besties! Depending on any space that I am, I do feel like I’m a certain identity first and black second, ie. A mom first, black second when looking for help in public it’s complex but you explained it very well which I appreciate and hope wasn’t too heavy to do. Keep shining! 🫶🏾

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Wow, I never considered this through a maternal lens, but you're totally right! Thank you for that perspective!

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Jun 22Liked by andy nwannem

Beautifully written

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Thank you 💚

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Jun 21Liked by andy nwannem

the scenes in this are GOOD. loved reading this.

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Thank you!

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Thanks for this, excellent writing. I’m not queer, but the disconnect that I’ve seen among Black people when it comes to Blackness as it intersects with everything else, especially queerness, has always been headache-inducing. We expect all of us to rally against white supremacy and other outside threats to ALL Black people, but will still cut our own down when they don’t comport to whatever idea of Blackness we’re supposed to uphold, in service of…what, exactly?

My hope is that, collectively, we can eventually embody the ideal that “none of us are free until we all are”.

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Jun 23Liked by andy nwannem

Wonderful essay, important perspective that needs to be shared!!

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Thank you!

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Jun 22Liked by andy nwannem

Just: ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍🤎🖤 Can’t wait to reconnect, Andy.

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See you so soon, Pearl! 💚

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Jun 22Liked by andy nwannem

Really loved reading this, thank you for sharing yourself with us 💖

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Thank you for taking the time to read it 💚

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Jun 21Liked by andy nwannem

Love this. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm a mixed race, white-passing (straight-passing) queer and there's a lot of code-switching that happens, depending on the situation.

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Thank you for reading! The code-switching is exhausting and I’m sorry you have to deal with it, too.

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Jun 21Liked by andy nwannem

Thank you for sharing. I really appreciated it

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Thank you for reading! 💚

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The last line made me cackle but you are very correct!

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Seeing this and feeling so struck by your words. While I do not exactly identify, the feeling of what we were born into versus who we are becoming is a violent and lonely process. Mix religion in and it feels a lot more painful. Sending love your way <3

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The writing. Thank you for this. Lately I’ve been identifying as a Believer first and Black second. Black second because the ways we sometimes hold Blackness can be harmful to each other. But people who believe in God are also poor representations of Him as well. Thank you again for this.

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This really spoke to some experiences I’ve been wrestling with lately. Thank you so much for sharing! 🫶🏽

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the question you asked if anyone needs to be someone else’s shelter in our society - although the answer is no, i think it’s wonderful that we still want to be and step it up for the people around us! power to you, your amazing writing and your courage to live your best life!

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Thank you for your kind words, Neeti 💚 I also think showing up for each other is at least 50% of what makes us human and I’m grateful that at least some others share that sentiment.

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Wow absolutely incredible essay 🖤

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Thank you Amani 💚

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"Tell your mother that she has bigger problems than where I put my tongue." <3

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